WARNING: This post contains a week’s worth of activities. Feel free to pace yourself and take breaks. 

         

Remember that time that our National Broadcasting Society (NBS) convention was in Atlanta? It was last week. Also, this was the week after Spring Break. Aka a school week. But, being the responsible scholar I am, I got my assignments ahead of time (only one paper was due – yay!) and vowed that I would work on it during Spring Break.

Lol.

So I spent spring break hanging out with my family which I feel is a very legitimate reason for not getting caught up on homework. Not to worry, I was going to write that darn paper on Saturday before we left.

But, as fate would have it, I instead spent the remainder of my Saturday afternoon watching Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt with Kase (which is impossibly hilarious, btw) instead of packing and/or finishing up my homework. You see, sometimes I have ideas that are not “good”.

We didn’t have to check into the convention until Tuesday and the conference didn’t technically start until Wednesday, but who was looking for an excuse to spend a couple extra days in Atlanta? That would be my dear friend Kase and I. We absolutely were looking for that excuse. So, with sparse planning (on my end) we decided it would be a good idea to get on a plane at 5:30am on Sunday and that I would somehow be able to handle that like an adult(????)

To get on our plane by 5:30, we had to leave at 3:45. In the morning, you guys. When I realized this, I audibly whimpered. I do not do mornings. Especially when it is still dark outside, for crying out loud. I can set 37 alarms and KNOW in my heart that I NEED to wake up but I will look out and see darkness and be like, absolutely not and go right back to my slumber. It’s a curse. Thus, I decided I should just stay awake. I had to pack and I had to write that paper – I had plenty to occupy my time. Ha. I was done with everything by about 1:45am (also approximately when I hit the exhaustion wall) giving me two hours to kill. I did everything. I read the whole internet. I rearranged my room. I cleaned the kitchen. I did all the things. Finally I went to McDonalds to get some coffee around 3:30 (where the lovely gal at the drive thru was quite annoyed at my existence.) Then, I promptly spilled said coffee all over my shirt as I walked out the door. Bless.

The Amarillo airport was silent and dry except for a few nuns who were even earlier birds than us. One of them, bless her heart, was extremely concerned that she would not be allowed to take her inhaler with her on the plane, and hounded the security agent for a solid few minutes before the agent finally had to tell her to sit back down. (She was able to bring it.) We arrived in Dallas about 7am. Let it be known that I sleep for entire flights. Also, let it be known that I do not “sleep”, okay, I go into a small, mouth-wide-open-coma. But, I awoke with a jolt when we landed because I was fairly certain the landing gear was going to come up through the fuselage and also that I now had whiplash. “Welcome to Dallas,” they said.

A few hours later, after coffee, breakfast burritos, and an accidental nap in front of lots of strangers, we were ready to board for Atlanta. We heard a crying baby in the distance, and Kase stated, “Boy, I hope we don’t get a baby on our plane.” But Kase being the jinxer of all things actually won us TWO babies. Bless. Sweet Jack and his baby brother, Kevin, got VIP seats directly in front of us. Jack, 3(ish), entertained himself by scribbling all over the side of the plane, and when he wasn’t scribbling, he was wailing while his adult braces-donning dad repeatedly whisper-shouted at him, “JACK, DID YOU GET TO SEE THE COCKPIT?!” No, dad, he didn’t. And if he did, he doesn’t care.

We landed in Atlanta about 1pm and took a train to where my hotel was. The train situation was a whole thing in itself as we tourists were just expected to know how to buy a little magic smartcard pass thingy and navigate the colorful map. By the grace of the Good Lord, we found our train. Then, bless our hearts, we stepped off the train into a torrential downpour, and began lugging our oversized suitcases up a hill – immediately regretting our packing choices, as cars sped past us, drenching us even further in dirty street water. After checking into my hotel, we had to step back into the downpour, back onto another train and locate Kase’s place of temporary dwelling. Our GPS took us around the entire state of Georgia before we saw the shimmering hotel sign. The Promised Land. We must have looked pretty pathetic as the bellman, Javier, sprinted out to us to relieve us of our luggage burden, and tried not to laugh at us.

We spent the evening at a fun little diner, and then driving around the hotel about 28 times before successfully finding it. (My sense of direction is probably my biggest downfall.)

Monday consisted of all the touristy things including the World of Coca-Cola, where I was absolutely 100% sucked in by their marketing and didn’t even attempt to fight it, and got to try Coke products from all over the world. Also, sorry, other countries, but you drink disgusting stuff. If you know us, you already know we had to hit up the Jimmy Carter Presidential Library too. And before you make fun of us for being 65-years-old, take note of our selfies. That’s right – definitely still Millennials.

     

We also went to the Georgia Aquarium, where I was stunned by the entry fee, and loudly declared that we would in fact stay for at least three hours, and maybe circle back through a second time. (I’m so embarrassing.) Our tickets also got us access to a dolphin show where we caught scoliosis from sitting in the terrible chairs, but, I will testify that it was worth it. I’m a sucker for a friendly sea mammal.

         

On Tuesday we decided we’d like to go to the Martin Luther King district. So, after breakfast (at the Flying Biscuit, whose biscuits are a small glimpse of Heaven), we set off for the train station. Looking at our maps, we could see it would be quite a jaunt from the stop to the site, but it ended up being a longer trek than we calculated. Uphill, of course. Our calves aching, this was the only time either of us has missed the flat Panhandle, I think. Once we got to the site, we were greeted by about 9 million loud, rambunctious high school kids on a tour with their school. It made me wish that I had these places available for field trips when I was younger. But more than that, it made me wish that I had the magical ability to silence about 9 million high school kids on demand. Can’t have it all, I suppose.

        

One of my favorite things that I got to do on this trip though was tour CNN. Their newsroom is ginormous and also Robin Meade from HLN is my spiritual animal and I’ll always have a celebrity crush on Anderson Cooper even though he’s gay. We even had an opportunity to take a picture at a CNN desk, but I decided to let Kase take the pic solo considering it would probably be in his professional portfolio someday. He’s such a pre-scandal Brian Williams.

        

After our adventures through the Cable News Network, we went to Publix to pick up a few items. I went to the restroom and when I walked out, I see Kase with an excited expression on his face, and he begins to whisper-shout, “ALLISON. THAT IS LISA KUDROW.” I slowly turned, and sure enough, there, in all her glory is Phoebe Buffay. My breath got shallow as I began to undergo a small, undetectable heart attack. Kase and I quietly argued for a good two or three minutes about who was going to ask her for a photo. I, obviously could not, as I was busy having a stroke in the Vitamin Water aisle. Alas, Kase politely approached her and she politely declined, but we were in arm’s length of Phoebe and we will both hold onto that brief encounter, probably forever. I had plenty of time to take a front photo of her, but in the midst of my fan-girling, I forgot I had a phone, I forgot how to use it, I probably couldn’t have told you my own name. Thus, this photo of the back of her will have to do until next time. (One might say I was fallin’ in love as she was walkin’ away?)

But, not all was lost (for Kase) as for the remainder of the trip, he got to use the line, “Would you mind ________, since I asked Lisa Kudrow for a picture?” *Sigh*

Another noteworthy expedition was the Atlanta Movie Tour. We got to see places where scenes were shot from popular movies and TV shows including The Walking Dead and Hunger Games. I wish I could’ve been as excited as TWD fans on the tour when we pulled up to Terminus, but we also went to District 12 [photos below], so yes, Katniss and I breathed the same air. Not that I was thinking about that the whole time I was there. Then the tour guide asked if anyone ever watched Real Housewives of Atlanta and I was the only one to raise my hand and the judgment was tangible. But whatever, because I know I wasn’t the only Real Housewives viewer on that bus.

    

In between all these excursions, we did actually attend a convention, and we did actually learn a lot. We got to hear from all kinds of media professionals from local news stations to CNN and from filmmakers to professors. So rest easy that we did get a lot out of the actual reason that we went.

We actually brought home more than 10 national awards, and after the awards ceremony, one of our comrades suggested that we go to this fancy restaurant to celebrate. Let it be known that “fancy” and “Allison Myers” don’t typically go in the same sentence because I have a tendency to do awkward/embarrassing things pretty often and I try not to do them in front of society’s elite. But, nonetheless, we went. I walked in and immediately felt an urge to say, “I’m sorry everyone. I know I don’t belong here.” As fate would have it, I wasn’t able to read anything on this French menu, and ended up paying about $30 for a Frenchified hamburger with a very salty salad while the server fake-smiled and judged me with her eyes. On the bright side, I only managed to drop a couple things and spill my drink down my shirt once. Win.

Unfortunately, as all good things do, the trip had to come to an end. We were scheduled to head back to Texas the next morning. 3:55 in the morning, in fact. Bless my heart. Being the morning person I am, I set my alarm for about 3:30 (giving me like a solid 12 seconds to get ready) and prayed that I wouldn’t bite anyone’s head off in the morning. I’m sure you will not be surprised to know that when I reserved my spot on the airport shuttle, I entered the wrong phone number, and could not figure out how to change it, but I was sure they wouldn’t actually need it. So yeah, I did not get the text that morning saying the shuttle would be early – scheduled to pick us up at 3:31am. Luckily Kase is like a human Siri and his phone call woke me up, along with a text that said, “Are you up?!” I was now. I jolted out of bed exclaiming, “THE SHUTTLE IS EARLY! WEAR WHAT YOU HAVE ON!” This resulted in mass chaos in our hotel room, one roommate running out the door with her pajama pants on, the other muttering angrily as she flung her things into her suitcase. Good times.

Long story short, we made it to the shuttle and we made it to the plane and we made it back to Texas about 10am. Kase and I then decided we should go to church because we needed some Jesus before we took on the week from hell. We bobbed and nodded for the whole sermon, but our hearts were in the right place. Needless to say, I was not ready to get back into the groove of real life, and this week was very hard. But I wouldn’t take it back. Like I always say, you didn’t make the most of your trip if you don’t come home broke and impossibly exhausted. We definitely left it all on the floor.

Atlanta, I like you. And I’ll be back soon, because even though “other arms reach out to me, other eyes smile tenderly, still in peaceful dreams I see, the road leads back to you…”